(Written May, 2010)
In March, 2008, Dan and I found out that we were expecting our first child. We were so excited! As I began my journey through pregnancy, we started to discuss what we were going to name our child. We had a feeling it would be a boy. We wanted something Biblical and meaningful, so I began searching the Bible for names that really meant something. I started studying the book of Nehemiah and was so impressed with it. He was so obedient to God and trusted him in everything. God worked through his obedience to fulfill His will. As I read further into the book, I just really came to love the name and the character of Nehemiah. I shared my feelings with Dan and we agreed that if we had a son, then his name would be Nehemiah.
A few weeks later, we went for my 15 week ultrasound and discovered that we were having a girl. I was disappointed that I couldn’t use my “cool” name that I had been researching and growing to love. However, God had other plans for us and I wouldn’t change it for the world. We couldn’t agree on a girl’s name for anything, but after going through baby name books, the Bible, and other books with cool names in them, we were led to Trinity. She is such a gift from God, so we thought it was very appropriate to give Him credit and name her after the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. She is a work straight from them and we love her so much!
In October, 2009, my Dad (Randy) was diagnosed with kidney cancer. It had spread to three spots on his brain by the time we discovered it. The doctor’s were very hopeful and led us to believe he could survive it. He went through radiation and had his left kidney removed. We thought we were home free, but he continued going downhill. Towards the beginning of March, 2010, we found out that his cancer had now spread to his lungs and there was nothing more they could do for him. It was a waiting game and just a matter of time before he would go home to be with the Lord. I began to ask God “Why?” I didn’t, and still don’t, understand it all. He had been such a wonderful father, father-in-law, husband, brother, uncle, nephew, cousin, teacher, friend, and Christian. Why would God want to take him and leave my daughter without her Grandpa that loved her so much? I went through a stage of anger. I wasn’t mad at God, I was just mad. I felt “ripped off!”
A week later (little did we know it would be 2 weeks before my Dad passed away) Dan and I found out that we were pregnant with our second child. My first initial thought was, “Thank you, Lord! I needed that!” I was so comforted that there was good news in the midst of all the bad news we had and seeing my Dad get worse all the time.
I was able to share with him that he would be a Grandpa again. He was so excited! He told my Me-ma and Aunt the day after we found out, “We’re going to have another baby!” And the last conversation I had with him (Tuesday, March 23), the first thing out of his mouth was, “Did you have the baby yet?” I believe that he wanted to see his second grandchild before he died. He knew where he was going and wasn’t scared, but the thought of leaving his loved ones hurt him.
Friday, March 26, 2010, God called him home about 9:15pm. I still don’t understand it all, but I know God is in control and I believe he spoke to me through the name we picked out for our son.
After the funeral and taking some time to get over losing one of the most important and influential people in my life, I decided to focus on the positive that God had blessed us with. So, I started thinking about baby names again. We had to pick out something Biblical and meaningful and that can be very hard to decide on. I had been feeling more morning sickness during the first trimester, so I thought I may be having a boy this time. (I had heard that you feel different carrying a boy than a girl.) I started looking into the name Nehemiah again. It hit me right off, the name means, “Jehovah comforts!” I was shocked! Talk about appropriate timing on that one! God sure comforted me (and our family) with this baby! We had picked this name out 2 years ago, but He knew when we would need to use it and how much of an impact it would have on us now.
It was confirmed in late May, 2010, we were indeed having a boy! I was so excited because I felt that God had talked to me. Being a Christian doesn’t mean that we won’t have trials and hard times, but I know that God is ALWAYS there and fully in control. He proved Himself to me just because He can! I feel so loved, even though I’m still hurting over the loss of my Dad. In honor of God’s faithfulness and my Dad, we are naming our son Nehemiah Randy. Just because my kids won’t grow up personally knowing my Dad doesn’t mean that his legacy, stories, and life can’t still make a difference to them.
Thank you, Lord, for the blessing of our children! Thank you for such comfort in my biggest time of need! Thank you for always being there and for confirming that You love me and everything will be alright. Amen.
Isaiah 55:8-9 “For My thoughts are not your thoughts, nor are your ways My ways,’ says the Lord. ‘For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are My ways higher than your ways, and My thoughts than your thoughts.”